Sunday, May 22, 2011

Disney spin-off.

So the whole thing was just a Disney spin-off. I knew the Mouse had some clout, but this is pretty impressive. And all to sell a few more dolls...

A clever hoax of course.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

The End.

See, now I wish I had a credit card. I'd go out and buy me a '59 Corvette and cruise it on down to Armageddon. Somewhere to the north of Chichester, I belive.

Sunday, May 08, 2011

Kaleidoscope 'I's.

I shared the previous ‘cheesy-chips’ post on Facebook, where a couple of friends were impressed by my level of ‘self deception’. They don’t know the half of it – in fact I’m something of an authority on the subject. Let me chart my own journey so far.

1st Level of self-deception: Rejection
I see that in order for self-deception to be possible there would need to be two ‘I’s: the deceiver and the deceived. But ‘self’ by definition is singular. There can only be one ‘I’, therefore self-deception is impossible.

2nd Level of self deception: Doubt
The definition of ‘self’ is indeed singular, but ‘deception’ also has a definition. If one had successfully deceived oneself, how would one know it? Hm. Perhaps there is more than one ‘I’ after all. The concept is at least worthy of consideration.

3rd Level of self deception: Discovery
Yes, there is definitely another ‘I’ lurking within. I caught him just now with his hands in the biscuit barrel. He said that a Facebook friend had told him there were no calories in broken biscuits because they all ‘fell out’, and he was researching this idea. ‘Who are you kidding?’ I said, and he just looked at me.

4th Level of self deception: To infinity and beyond.
The discovery that two ‘I’s could simultaneously exist brings the realisation that there could be more. I’ve counted eight so far, but there could be hundreds. Or there could still just be one, of course. And who’s zooming whom? Which of me inhabits me at any one time?

So there seem currently to be eight of us in here, each vying for mastery, each intent upon convincing the others they don’t exist. Sometimes we give up arguing about it and go out as a skittles team.

A balanced diet

There’s a tendency, when your children become adults and leave home, to go straight back to eating grown-up food again. It’s goodbye cheesy chips, spaghetti hoops, and Coke floats, and hallo carrot and coriander soup. Such a radical change of diet can play havoc with both chakra and digestion, and you have to be careful not to overdo it.

So, there being no calories in children’s leftovers (as any fule kno) I’ve made myself cheesy chips for lunch and pretended that someone just left them there, unwanted. It seems immoral to waste them.

My yin/yang equilibrium is thus restored, my conscience is clear, and I expect to have lost a stone by teatime.